The last couple of days, I’ve felt like I’m on a course of slow collision with “the wall.” We all know what hitting the wall is like, whether at work when we don’t feel like there’s enough time in the day to get everything we need to done, or with the kids when our patience has run out, or even with life when we just feel we’ve poured out all we have and can’t give anymore. The impact is usually sudden, as you don’t realize you’re at the end of yourself until you go for another serving and find your spoon empty.
The abrupt stop affects everyone differently. Some people are thoroughly deterred and end all efforts then and there, walking away from the endeavor altogether. Some people step back and regroup and try to find a way around the wall. Then there are the people who throw themselves at the wall until it comes down.
I am mom with young kids, the primary support staff in a high intensity professional setting, and a creative individual. I meet a lot of walls, and very few of them am I able to opt out of confronting or step back from to figure out how to get around. I’m always having to reach into the dregs and pull out a little more willpower to keep moving forward, and lean on God for when I’m just empty and dry. As someone accustomed to being strong, and being seen as strong, I remind myself often that God’s power is perfected in my weakness, so I throw myself at the wall believing He will bring it down.
If you are throwing yourself at the wall today, know you’re in good company. Not me, but Jesus. I’m just another person doing what I’m compelled to do, even if I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere doing it.